Al-Zalam Classics (كلاسيكيات الظلام)

Al-Zalam

Welcome to Al-Zalam Classics, the ultimate place to look for Al-Zalam voice lines. Brought to you by Brit-Nih, goddess of popular beat combos.

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Contents

Dan's Crypt (back to top)

Cutscenes

"Oi, you - Fortesque! At last!"

"Come! Get up! We got things to do!"

"Hey! Hey! Easy my friend!"

"In my culture we treat the guests with courtesy! Especially if they stop by for 100 years!"

"Who am I? My friend, you should feel honoured!"

"Usually the corpses, their skulls are filled with just the worms! Instead, you get I, Al Zalam, glorious genie of the Sultan Prince Razeem the Ribald! Noble protector of…"

"You doubt me! I see it in your eye."

"Well it is true. We genies, usually we are trapped within the lamps. That is bad - and very oily for the skin - but far worse, let me tell you, is when evil sorceror tricks you, traps you inside skull of cowardly knight."

"Oh - the smell! It is mustier than the saracen's jock-strap."

"You imply that I lie?"

"In my culture, that would earn you fifty strokes of the cat. And we are allergic to cats, so that is a terrible punishment…"

"But fine, if you're too busy with the being dead… We just sit back and watch Zarok destroy Gallowmere once more."

"Oh, you remember Zarok at least? Yes, that madman is back from the exile."

"He has mastered the dark magics, has been waking the dead, turning good men evil."

"He turns this land bad quicker than tub of yak's cheese next to the warm radiator."

"Why you back among the living? His magic? Or perhaps fate."

"Fate gives you chance to redeem yourself, make amends for your cowardly death? Eh?"

"Yes, yes, I was there that fateful day… ! I saw you hanging back, pretending to tie your bootlaces - and getting hit by first stray arrow!"

"Ah, NEVER believe own publicity! …you just a Big coward buried as big hero with poor genie still trapped inside his head!"

"Come on, I know you a tough guy deep down, We can work with that! I will be guide. Maybe this time we truly defeat him!"

"…His men killed you, his magic cursed me. Together we squash that creepy cockroach, free me, turn you into real hero! Eh?"

In-game

"Mind the lava Dan - cremations not your style I think."

"A training room eh. Nice decor. Early Macabre."

"You got a STUDY? I never had you down as a reader… you use a monocle, right?"

"That's a rune key Dan, place it in claw of rune gate and open sesame!"

"It's your Mummy Dan! ……. What? Suddenly I can do no jokes?"

"Ah, a beautiful map of Gallowmere! This will help us to get around the realm."

The Graveyard (back to top)

In-game

"I sense Zarok is very close by, maybe at cemetery hill which lies just beyond this graveyard."

(UNUSED) "Zarok is near. My blood shivers. That might just be this flimsy outfit though!"

"You need better sword. Yours is much use as woollen bucket."

(UNUSED) "Ha! what a rubbish sword that was!"

"Ah a real shiny stabby sword, let's try it out !"

"Nice shield. You look like proper knight now….well kind of."

"A club! You can LIGHT it, Or hey, maybe just club stuff really hard."

"These fountains give health. But, like goat's milk at bachelor party, they don't last forever."

Cemetery Hill (back to top)

In-game

"A witch's talisman! Use near a bubbling cauldron to summon a witchy!"

"A spade - in a cemetery! I sense great logic at work."

"Some rolling rocks look crumbly. Maybe try whacking them."

"The soil on that grave looks looser than the bowels of a man in a sleeping bag full of scorpions!"

"Wise men say never go back. But I say we missed something in the witch's house."

"Hey! That grave back there… LOOSE SOIL on top… you dig?"

Hilltop Mausoleum (back to top)

Cutscenes

"By the sacred underwear of Brit-Nih, goddess of popular beat combos!"

"I underestimated you, my friend! Dying obviously did you the world of good!"

"That key opens the Glass Demon gate in the cemetery."

In-game

"Beware, imps are sticky-fingered thieves - trust me, we can spot our own!"

"Looks like the heart is his only weak point!"

"The floor is collapsing! Run, run, get out quick!"

"Not again! The floors giving way Dan, run for our lives!"

Return to the Graveyard (back to top)

Cutscenes

"Ah a piece of the ANUBIS STONE! Its power and worth is unimaginable! I know a bar where we can get cash for this."

"Excellent work, my brother! Let me ruffle your hai- - never mind."

"But we've escaped - Gallowmere Plains lies beyond that gate!"

In-game

"We need to get out of this graveyard. The Glass Demon's key might help."

"This path leads to undertaker's. An old acquaintance of yours hey Dan?"

"By the sandals of the wandering hippy! The famous Mullock Chief's memorial!"

"Er……Dan…. didn't Death say Anubis Stone was buried round here?"

Gallowmere Plains (back to top)

In-game

"Hey, I lost my sister at a carnival round here once- that coconut shy was rigged I tell you."

"Look! Imps blatantly selling hooky gear. Maybe pick up a bargain!"

"Beyond this locked gate, through Enchanted Forest, lies the Sea. Romantic, innit."

"AH - the gate to Sleeping Village. We should visit Mayor's House. You never take me anywhere nice."

"That way leads back to Graveyard. Homesick already!?"

"Poo-oh! Either you're more scared than I thought, or that's the smell of the countryside."

"That is Lazy Farm - where rural folk and cockerels lie-in till noon."

"I work in carnival once, but I quit. Second billing to Sammy the Seal Boy - gimme a break!"

Scarecrow Fields (back to top)

In-game

"Oh Scarecrows ALWAYS freak me out. It's the hand-stitched eyes. Lets hurry through to Pumpkin Gorge."

"Look, a two-storey metallic imp! On any other day that would seem weird."

"There are nasty, creepy, scratchy things in the corn crops Dan. Don't stray from the paths."

"Those haystacks look drier than your bath mat!"

(UNUSED) "You've released serpent! Say bye-bye to small fortune in handbags and fancy footwear."

Pumpkin Gorge (back to top)

In-game

"We need to find Pumpkin Witch. Lets hope she still has her piece of the Anubis Stone."

"I wonder if this means we've invented the elevator?"

"We need to wake the Pumpkin King somehow. Typical, the one day I didn't bring my trombone."

"Perhaps we should say byebye to old witch. You can always leg it if she tries to snog you."

"Perhaps we need to SUMMON Witch Dan, We aint got time to hang around."

"Woah SOMEBODY woke up on the wrong side of the patch."

"OK! You make fine veggi kebab out of HIM. Hurray!"

"Now where chilli sauce?"

Welcome to the Sleeping Village (back to top)

Cutscenes

"But this is outrageous! The Mayor's not mad! Mad for pies, maybe…"

"Listen, my friend - I did some time in a nuthouse, and that butterball will be singing like a canary before he's dried off from the first shower!"

"We must follow them! If we want to get our mitts on the Anubis Stone fragment."

"We've got to save that porky politician!"

Inside The Asylum (back to top)

In-game

"Woo hoo you did it, you did it!"

"On less happy note I think I acquire pretty bad axe phobia."

Enchanted Forest (back to top)

Cutscenes

"Oh my brother, I take back all I said about your small head! You have done it!"

"This fragment of the Anubis Stone is like a pilgrim's money-belt - ours to take! Grab it! We're home free!"

In-game

"Ok.. Remember, we seek the Forest Witch. Just look for old hippie chick. Probably hugging trees or somthin."

"Gah! That funky smell! scented candles and lentil bake! It's gotta be Witchies camp."

"It's locked. We havta find key ……. the Demon Claw."

"I don't liiiiike this…..make haste with your weapons Dan - or we go the way of the kebab."

Pools of the Ancient Dead (back to top)

Cutscenes

"Wait, Dan! As my people say, there is more than one way to mount a camel."

"Legend tells of suit of fireproof armour hidden on Dragon Island. If we get our sweaty little paws on it, we could WALK through the lava."

In-game

"Oh great! The bridge collapse. Now we need to find OTHER way to get over river. Some days I don't know why we bother getting out of crypt."

"Run Dan We're about to be rear ended!"

"Incoming!"

Scurvy Docks (back to top)

In-game

"Pirates Dan! And they look hopped up on cheap grog and sea biscuits!"

"Ah smell the fresh sea air Dan, er actually it's not very fresh is it, oh well at least the view is pretty!"

"We need to find a way of getting the Harbour Master's attention."

"A smugglers' ship! Full of bootleg designer gear, no doubt. Come on - I love a bargain!"

"Must be Captain's hideaway - that or someone like decorating with nautical theme."

Dragon Island (back to top)

In-game

"When we meet dragon, don't be intimidated, OK? Just think of it as fire-breathing, armoured lizard. The size of a house."

"Those crystals on the ceiling look loose, a tremor might bring them falling down."

Haunted Ruins (back to top)

In-game

"Thank you greedy chickens! We're in! Now to find your old friend King Peregrine."

"By the socks of my fathers! The castle's coming down! Kill these guardians so we can blow this joint… Hurry Dan we don't have long!"

Ghost Ship (back to top)

Cutscenes

"OK, my friend! It's time to test this cannon out!"

"I'll light the fuse, then we'll climb in quick. Got that?"

"Oh, don't be such a baby! I will be fine! I will be safe inside your head."

"As for you… well, just try to land on your toughest point."

"Hang on I've not thought this through."

"AA-IEEEEEEEE!"

"We've taken the ship! Lower the whatnot! Hoist the doohickey! Um, Something to the anchor… Anyway - steer a course for Zarok's lair!"

"A-haaaargh!"

In-game

"That, my brother is one big gun. I bet it needs LOADS of gunpowder."

"This is CANNON, not a cap-gun! We need more powder kegs!"

"We need to get control of this ship, it's our only way to get to Zarok!"

"That's Enough! Any more gunpowder and that huge cannon will put us into orbit."

Zarok's Lair (back to top)

Cutscenes

"This is it: the final showdown. Finally you can prove yourself as warrior!"

"Be BRAVE Sir Fortesque - and remember, we have all pieces of the Anubis stone."

"Oh and if it looks like you're going to lose, don't let him hit you in the head, I've got the place just how I want it now."

"OK time to fuse the Anubis stone!"

"At Last. Freeeeeedoooooom!"

In-game

"Dodge his attacks, and he'll lose his cool."

"Hit him in the mouth, he don't like that I think!"

"His mouth, his mouth, Dan, get his mouth!"

"Smash the end of his tail Dan, he hates that!"

"The tip of his tail Dan, it's his sensitive spot!"

"Save your strength, your weapons are no good against Fazgul."

"Dan! Use the Anubis Stone to keep your troops fighting fit!"

Miscellaneous (back to top)

Drowning

"Oh Nice move, Davey Jones!"

"Dan, buoyancy is not your strongpoint!"

Idling

"Oi! Move it, lazy bones. We've got a realm to save!"

"Do you think Zarok's taking a breather? No, I don't think so."

"Dan, you narcoleptic klutz! Get a move on!"

"Hey! Shift your ass! And your camel!"

Low Health

"Careful! You're looking peaky."

"Watch your health Dan!"

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Al-Zalam Classics is an unofficial, non-profit project that is neither affiliated with nor endorsed by Sony Interactive Entertainment Inc.
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